Losowe angielskie dowcipy

Man, I'm Glad I'm A Man ->

Everyday I give thanks to God I was born a man instead of a broad When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee I go to a barber, not a beauty salon Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on Don't ... [cay ->]

The man buying farm animals...woo-hoo! ->

One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there. He walked up to the farmer and said,"Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it." The farmer replied,"That's not a donkey, that's an as... [cay ->]

The Missing Toupee! ->

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much o... [cay ->]

I'm glad I'm a woman ->

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don't brag to my buddies about my erections. I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. A... [cay ->]

Nudist jokes! ->

Q. Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony? A. The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee and nine doughnuts at the same time. Q. Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony? A. The one who can eat the last doughnut.... [cay ->]

Resignation From Phone Committee ->

OPERATOR, WE'VE BEEN DISCONNECTED: Florida State Senator John McKay has resigned from the Senate Regulated Industries Committee, which oversees such monopolies as the phone company, after his wife charged in a divorce proceeding that McKay had been h... [cay ->]

Some thoughts for today... ->

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. The 50-50-90 rule: An... [cay ->]

Short Lawyer Jokes III ->

Q: Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? A: Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, ... [cay ->]

Last supper - last words ->

What was Jesus' last words at the last supper? "Ok, all you guys who want to be in the picture, get on THIS side of the table"... [cay ->]

After You ->

My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my service, so I had to visit the local Bell Atlantic Office. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. I wasn't really sure who was next and when we got to t... [cay ->]

Balls! ->

Ok this idiot of the first order is invited for a game of golf for the first time, while in another country. He's totally enamoured with the golf ball because he's never seen anything like it before so he carries like, 30 of them back home to give... [cay ->]

Little Red Riding Hood ->

Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to Grandma's house when all of a sudden the big bad wolf jumps out from behind a tree! "Red Riding Hood, I'm going to eat you!" he growls. "Eat, eat, eat," says Little Red Riding Hood. "Doesn't anybody fuc... [cay ->]

You know you're Middle Aged if... ->

You’ve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything. The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the “ten items or less” lane. You’ve stopped supporting your children, and star... [cay ->]

More great Blonde shorties! ->

How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow stepped on her. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes! What is it when a blonde blows into anotherblondes ear? Data transfer. What did the blonde say when she found out she ... [cay ->]

Blonde On Either Side ->

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter.... [cay ->]

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